Alright me old china, it’s time to have a butchers at some cockney rhyming slang sentences. And explaining why some words in popular culture actually originate from the working-class population of the East End of London.
First things first, cockney is the name of the dialect and to many outsiders, all working class Londoners. A true Cockney though is someone born with the sound of the Bow Bells. That’s the church of St. Mary-le-Bow in Cheapside. Often mistaken being in the east London area of Bow, it’s actually central (EC2 to be precise), it’s just the east side of the old medieval walls of the City of London. Whereas the theatre heartland is the West End (W1C).
Partly the cause of the confusion, is that exposure for many comes from the famed British drama EastEnders, which is set in a fictional East London borough. Perhaps an amalgamation of Walthamstow and Stratford, but with a fictional postcode of E20 on the road signs (Olympic Park district which includes parts of Stratford and Bow) and the tube station on the map when shown is where Bromley-by-Bow usually is.
To be fair, areas like Cheapside and Aldgate grew with commercial properties, so residents were forced out into East London. And then later, thanks to gentrification, most East Londoners moved out to Essex. London too is spreading, with places like Bromley and Sidcup being part of Kent until the 1960’s, and even Lewisham until the late 1800’s. In Essex, Upminster became part of Havering Borough in 1965.
Finally for the record, I feel the need to point out that one of the most famous TV Cockney’s in Del Boy was of course from Peckham, south of the River Thames.
Anyway, I feel the need to admit something. I’ve never really understood the need for cockney rhyming slang, mostly as it takes longer to say. I’d never say apples and pears or Jack the Ripper (kipper) for example, whereas ones that are shortened like the outdated Lionel’s (Blairs – Flares) I can at least understand a bit more.
Plus I’m a North Londoner so I’m not sure I’m an authority on this subject. While I drop my aitch’s, and most people would say I talk like a cockney, I don’t feel like one. Especially as I refined my accent over the years to not sound so common, adjusting to my phone voice. But my aunts and uncles and grandparents would use a lot of these, including sayings like “black my nose” when prying and being nosey. Or calling underwear Alans,
I do feel it’s a bit like 8-ball pool rules, which vary based on your location. For me, I say having a giraffe for a laugh, rather than Turkish bath. And I’d say loaf of bread over crust too.
So if you’ve not got a scooby when Londoners reel out the cockney slang phrases, this guide is as good as a subtitles on a Guy Ritchie film. Here’s my cockney slang list, although I’ve added some common sayings that don’t rhythm too, like gander and Dagenham.
| Cockney Slang | Meaning | Cockney rhyming slang examples |
|---|---|---|
| Adam and Eve | Believe | I can't Adam and Eve it |
| Alligator | Later | See you later, alligator |
| Apples and Pears | Stairs | Let's go up the apples and pears to bed |
| Aris (Aristole = Glass & Bottle)) | Arse | Look at the aris on that |
| Army and Navy | Gravy | Pass the army down, this meat is dry as Ghandi's flip flop |
| Aunt Joanna | Piano | He can bash out a tune on the Joanna |
| Ayrton Senna | Tenner | Lend me an Ayrton Senna mate, I'm brassic |
| Bacon and Eggs | Legs | Cor, long at the bacons on that |
| Bag of Sand | Grand | Decent job this, getting three bags of sand for a weeks work |
| Barnet Fair | Hair | See you there at six, I need to get my barnet cut |
| Barney Rubble | Trouble | He loves a barney that one |
| Battle Cruiser | Boozer (pub) | Fancy a quick pint in the boozer after work? |
| Berkshire Hunt | C*nt | You berk |
| Biscuits and Cheese | Knees | Ain't you got knobbly biscuits |
| Boat Race | Face | She's got a body from Baywatch and a boat from Crimewatch |
| Boracic Lint (brassic) | Skint | I'm proper brassic at the moment |
| Brass (Nail=Tail=Hooker) | Prostitute | If I don't get out this Gobi (desert = dry patch) soon, I'll have to go and see a brass |
| Brass Tacks | Facts | Let me spell out the brass tacks for you |
| Bread and Honey | Money | You got any dough, I'm skint till payday |
| Bristols (Bristol City) | Tit | Cracking pair of bristols on that sort over there |
| Brown Bread | Dead | You keep on like that and you'll be brown bread |
| Bubble and Squeak | Greek | Go see George the Bubble, he'll sort you out |
| Bubble Bath | Laugh | You having a bubble mate? How much? |
| Bull and Cow | Row | Why do you have to have a bull about everything |
| Butcher's Hook | Look | Have a butcher's at this |
| China (plate) | Mate | Alright me old china |
| Cobbler's Awls | Balls | You're talking cobblers mate! |
| Cream Crackered | Knackered | I'm absolutely cream crackered |
| Current Bun | Sun | The current bun is pony since they got rid of page 3 |
| Daffadown Dilly | Silly | She's daffy that one |
| Dagenham | Mental/Mad | She's 2 stops short of Barking that one |
| Dicky Bird | Word | Oi, I want a dicky with you |
| Didgeridoo | Clue | I ain't got a didgeridoo what's going on |
| Dog and bone | Phone | Give me a bell on my dog and bone when you get to the boozer |
| Donkey's Ears | Years | I've not see you in Donkeys |
| Duck and Dive | Hide | The troubles looking for you mate, best duck out the back |
| Dustbin Lids | Kids | She was decent before she had a couple of dustbin lids, now it's like throwing a sausage down Holloway Road |
| Farmer Giles | Piles | My farmers are giving my gip today |
| Frog and Toad | Road | What you driving for, it's only down the frog? |
| Ginger Beer | Queer | You sure that fella dancing with your bird is Ginger beer mate? |
| Giraffe | Laugh | You're having a giraffe |
| Goosey Gander | Look | Let’s have a gander (stretch your neck) |
| Grasshopper | Copper | He's a grass that one |
| Gregory Peck | Neck | Get that pint down your Gregory |
| Half-inch | Pinch | Did you pinch that? Five fingered discount? |
| Hampstead Heath | Teeth | He's been been to Turkey, got himself new hampsteads |
| Hampton Wick | Prick | You're starting to get on my wick! |
| Hank Marvin | Starving | What times laugh? I'm proper hank marvin |
| Harry Munk | Spunk | I had to wipe my Harry on the curtains |
| Jack Jones | Own | I'm on my Jacks mate, get down here |
| Jackson Pollocks | Bollocks | The nipper caught me right in the Jacksons |
| James Blunt/Jeremy Hunt | C#nt | You're a James Blunt |
| Kane and Able | Table | Grab a Kane and Able and I'll get the beers |
| Khyber Pass | Arse | Stick it up your Khyber, you cow |
| Lemon Squeezer | Geezer | Alright geezer, where you been? |
| Lionel Blair's | Flairs | Nice Lionel's, did they have a argument with your socks? |
| Loaf/Crust of Bread | Head | Use your crust mate |
| Merchant Banker | Wanker | He's a right merchant that one |
| Mickey Bliss | Piss | Stop taking the Mickey |
| Mince Pies | Eyes | Here it is, use your minces next time |
| Moby Dick | Sick | I can't come in today, feeling right moby dick |
| Mutt and Jeff | Deaf | Speak up mate, I'm a bit mutton |
| Nelson Eddy's | Readies (money) | You got them readies you owe me? |
| New Delhi | Belly | My New Delhi is playing up today |
| Oily Rag | Fag | You got a spare oily mate? |
| One's and Two's | Shoes | I like you new ones and twos, let me christen them for you |
| Oxford Scholar | Dollar | Could you lend me an Oxford? |
| Pen and Ink | Stink | Pooh! It pens a bit in here. |
| Pen and Ink | Stink | Open the window, it pen and inks in here |
| Pete Tong | Wrong | It's all gone Pete Tong |
| Plates of meat | Feet | My plates are killing me after all that walking |
| Pony and Trap | Crap | That new boozer is pony |
| Porky pies | Lies | Stop telling porkies, I saw you looking at my birds aris |
| Rabbit and Pork | Talk | Shut it will you, you are always rabbiting on |
| Raspberry Tart | Fart | Cor, you done a raspberry? Something pen and inks in here |
| Rosie Lee | Tea | Make us a cup of Rosy will you mum |
| Rub And Dub | Pub | Back in an hour, just having a quick swifty down the rub a dub |
| Ruby Murray | Curry | Who's up for a Ruby on Friday night? |
| Salmon and trout | Snout (cigarettes) | Can I ponce a salmon geezer? |
| Scarpa Flow | Go | Scarpa! The rozzers are coming! |
| Scooby-Doo | Clue | Ain't got a scooby mate |
| Sherbet Dab | Cab | I'll get a sherbet and meet you there |
| Skin and Blister | Sister | Who's that talking to your skin and blister? |
| Sky Rocket | You had them, check your sky rockets again | |
| Syrup of Figs | Wig | sort your syrup out, it's falling off |
| Tea Leaf | Thief | He's a right little tea leaf that one |
| Toby Jugs | Lug holes (ears) | Get your lugs cleaned out, you're going mutton |
| Tom Tit | Shit | Just going for a Tom Tit, back in 10 |
| Tommy Tank | Wank | Had a cracking Tommy Tank last night |
| Treacle Tart | Sweetheart | Wotcha treacle |
| Trouble and Strife | Wife | The trouble's shopping again |
| Uncle Bert | Shirt | I'm wearing a Bert later, the missus wants me smart |
| Uncle Ned | Bed | I'm off to Uncle Ned |
| Weasel and Stoat | Coat | Anyone seen my weasel? |
| Whistle and Flute | Suit | Nice whistle mate, what time you got to be in court? |
I’ve deliberately left off some of the older expressions I’ve not heard in decades, but feel free to comment any Cockney rhyming slang phrases you love that are absent.
